(Wow, it's been a while since I've done these!)
I get that you were empty earlier tonight and thereby making me famished (was so starved, y'all), but please, in the name of all that is good and holy, quit it with the damn rumbling. It was like surround sound up in here!
Dear Moron who can't drive,
Thanks for maniacally speeding through the roundabout -- just as we were approaching -- without having indicated. (Not that indicating would've made much of a difference.) Braaaaavo. ::slow clap:: We really wanna get pummelled by your ilk. You are a supreme asshole of the highest order. If it had been a psycho and not me you dangerously cut off, they'd probably have hunted you down. In this case, you got off easy with some excessive honkage and fist shaking in your direction. Heh.
You are deliciously marvelous, always and forever. Trust. And you are also the perfect day on which to get delish take-away woodfire pizza from the local pizza place. YEAH, BABY!
Could you BE more wonderful? I avoid writing too much about you, lest I induce regurgitation among readers with any rhapsodising, but now and again I have to let the world know that you're an amazing man, and even though you're too humble to accept that, you exude it without realising it. ❤